杏仁的私家屋

::-ve thinker::  y da hack i alwayz think so -ve rite frum da beginning?  i never think of +ve sidez...  da reason is that hoping too much will cause more disappointments...  that's y i always think so -ve so when da result comes out to b a bit better than what i think, i won't hurt too much...  yeah that's my theory i guess...

 

::lack of confidence::  i never certain/believe myself in some perspectives and i get influenced by other ppl so easily...  just like...  ummmmm  i use to double check..  oh no..  triple check my work.  always freak out in case i do sth wrong.  back into school days when me and my classmates checked answers and figured out our answers r different, i always believed their ans r correct...  y was that?  sigh...  never think what i do is right which is not good...

 

::self abasement::  i hate when someone comparez me with another...  sigh...  why have to compare???  but then i always compare me with otherz...  shit...  that's a contradiction but then i dunno why i act like this...  just like personalities, weight, appearance, etc...  tho they said they dun mind, but i do mind and care and think i'm not good enuff... 

 

::no opinion::  i dun always speak out my mind n i like to store it in my mind...  those who know me well whenever they ask me where u wanna go what do u wanna eat what do u wanna do???  my replies r..  i donno, u chooses, whatsoever which i know gonna piss otherz off...  sometimes they force me to think but...  end up they make the decision for me...  ahhahah  the reason is that i scare otherz may not like/agree my ideas so i just follow what they like...  i hate it too when my friend actz like that.... hahhaha  it's like both of coz saying "donno.. doesn't matter..."  haha damnit...  i'm going out with myself!!!  whahahha

 

::stubborn::  never hear other's advicez, suggestions, idea, i just do it in my way!  is that a good thing??  i believe in 1+2+3=6 while others believes in 3+2+1=6 or 2+3+1=6 or whatsoever n they r the same thing...  probably their ways r much easier but i just believe 1+2+3=6...  what is this?  shit i just wanna change but i can hardly do it...  sometimes i have my ans in my mind but still i wanna hear others' ideas yet ending up choosing my original choice then what's da point of asking others??  dang i dunno...  my family n my friends say i am really stubborn just like a cow!  i think so too!!  sigh...  i just like following my own rulez...

 

 

sigh~  da above r my evaluations of myself... 

any good thingz?? NO.. ABSOLUTELY NO!!!

even i couldn't stand myself...  i'm not good at all...  T___________T